Just when everyone at home were making plans for the upcoming Eid-ul-Fitr celebration, she decided to skip the year's occasion, just so that her son can cherish the holy celebration with her, in the foreign land of the UK. So that she could make him her own version of lemangs, rendang and kuah kacang that her son has been sorely missing for so long.
I remembered telling myself a few years ago that when I grow up, have my own job and a secured life, I want to look after my mom. I want to give her the love and care she deserves, like the times when she took care of me ever since I was a small kid. Yet, Allah certainly has His own plans.
26 years has passed on, a grown-up adult I may be now, yet I am still reliant on my mom just like during the times when I was a little child. Suffering from cancer has made me feel just like a baby yet again, given the amount of care my mom puts on me.
When my itchiness gets unbearable, mom will always be there to apply some cream and scratch on my back just so to provide some relief.
When I feel unwell and tired, mom would sit next to me, placing her tender hands on my forehead, her body language telling me that things will be alright.
When my coughs get so violent that I get really frustrated and despaired, mom just approaches, providing that hug I badly needed to keep me strong.
And the list goes on.
Whenever mom has to go out of KL for work purposes, I would usually come along. I would either be her driver, or accompany her on the plane. If the travel is by plane, mom would take the hassle to buy an extra ticket. Over the last few months, we've made those journeys together to quite a number of places in the country; Langkawi, Kuantan, Seremban, Melaka and Genting Highlands, to name a few.
I would come along whenever mom is away solely because mom is the best person to look after this 26-year old 'boy'. She knows what foods are best for me, my do's and dont's, and what to do whenever I have my so-called 'difficult times'. In a way, I am kind of looking forward to our next trip together, waiting for my mom to announce her next work out of Kuala Lumpur.
Sometimes I wonder where mom gets the energy, patience and strength to persevere in looking after me. Ask anyone looking after a cancer patient and you'll understand why. Mom would also make sure that she never puts up an angry face in front of me, keeping check of my emotions. She understands how pivotal it is for a cancer patient not to get entangled into a lot of stress and anger.
Sometimes my mom would joked, calling me her 'big baby' whilst chatting with friends or family members. Rather than finding that humiliating, I would concur with her, as I definitely feel pampered like one. I always wonder day and night, how will I survive without my dearest mom. I will always tell myself that I have Allah and He alone is all-Sufficient. But I will also pray that Allah grants my parents good health, and the ability to remain strong in putting up with this 'big baby'.
I'm not exactly sure why I have penned this thoughts down, but I just feel the strong urge to show my deepest appreciation to my mom. My guardian. The one person in life I know will never disappoint. The one person I know who will always provide me with that unconditional love, through the thick and thin. To everyone out there, love your mom and NEVER ever break their heart. Tell them, in your own way, that you love them and that you will never trade your mom with anything in this entire world.