Reliance of a servant

Assalamualaikum wbt

I went to the hospital yesterday feeling fresh and rejuvenated, having had a brilliant weekend away from Sheffield. Meeting up with close friends and inspiring people. Gaining the strength that I certainly needed to equip myself for another big battle yesterday, my 5th round encounter.

It only seemed like yesterday when I started my first dose, and in two weeks time I should be halfway through the treatment. Having said that, it has definitely not been plain sailing from day one. As if feeling lethargic and nausea are not enough, I’ve noticed myself developing this psychological perception of sickness with even the slightest thought about the ABVD. A feeling of immense hatred to drugs that by the will of Allah, are meant to cure you. A feeling I believe is shared by anyone going through similar experiences.

I’ve really enjoyed my surgical placement last week, and it’s a great shame that I now have to miss the whole week of placement again. Over the past month, I’ve missed half of my placement and that will inevitably be the trend all the way till May when I finish my hospital placements and sit for my very final OSCE. It obviously is hard being disadvantaged at such a crucial time, but it is a challenge I have to live up with.

Talking about challenges and adversities, I certainly pray for the best for Saliza, the Malaysian sister in Sheffield I mentioned in my previous entry. The opportunity to pay her a visit last week taught me more about life. Just when you think that no one else has been afflicted with a test worse than yourself, just think again. When I saw her, she was certainly very weak and a bit confused. Although my condition is no way as complicated and testing as hers, I took the opportunity to share my own experience of lymphoma and chemotherapy, with the hope that Allah will give her that extra strength she deserves. I was told that Saliza vomited bloods a few days back and is now currently monitored in the Intensive Care Unit. Innalillahi wainna ilahirajiuun.

There is no better way to approach an adversity but to put our firm reliance on Allah. Tawakkal. Such a simple concept, so often heard and being told about, but not many can appreciate without a firm belief on it.

You must rely on God, for He suffices, enriches, and concerns Himself with those who do so. – Imam ‘Abdallah Ibn ‘Alawi Al-Haddad, The Book fo Assistance. [many thanks to a kind sister who gave me this book immediately after finding out about my diagnosis]



And the one who relies on God, God will suffice him. [Al-Thaalaq:3]

p/s: Abg Azhar and M have resumed their voluntary help of preparing my meals for this week. Jazakumullahu khayran katheera. Also to Eli and her housemates for the lovely cookings they sent today. Semoga Allah berikan keberkatan kepada masa yang anda semua telah korbankan.