Saturday, 19 June 2010

The man of few words

When I was a young, innocent 7-years old boy, I remembered how unsure I was about what I wanted to become when I grow up. Back during our days in the primary school, there would be a time during the year when all the students had to fill in a card, where we would update our personal details, and list a few of our ambitions, among others.

Unlike some people who have always wanted to become a doctor, lawyer or a pilot ever since they were young, I was rather clueless. Thus, every year, my ambition was never the same, they kept on changing again and again.

Darjah Satu [Year One]
1st - Wartawan [journalist]
2nd - Polis [police]
3rd - Kakitangan Kerajaan [government official]

Darjah Dua [Year Two]
1st - Peguam [Lawyer]
2nd - Jururawat [Nurse]
3rd - Doktor [Doctor]

Darjah Tiga [Year Three]
1st - Askar [Soldier]
2nd - Perdana Menteri [Prime Minister]
3rd - Pelakon [Actor]

Obviously the one listed above was roughly what I could remember almost 20 years back and thus a possible discrepancy from what I actually wrote down. Nevertheless, it showed my take on what I would want to become in the future back then.

It was only clear that I wanted to become nothing else but a doctor when I was 17 years old, when previously I kept on changing from dreaming to become a judge, a lawyer, even a singer at times, etc. When I passed my SPM [GCSE-equivalent] with flying colors, it further reinforced my ambition to become a doctor and I never looked back ever since.

Ask every doctor and they'll have their own reasons why they wanted to become one. So did I. In fact, I have quite a few reasons. And one of it, is not just for my fulfillment, but rather for my beloved dad.

I believed, and purely assumed, since he never really voiced it in front of us, that he wanted to see a doctor among his children. Even till now, I can't really prove whether my assumptions are true or baseless. I never knew why he never said it straight to us [that he wanted at least one of us to become a doctor], but I believe it signifies the type of a person he is. High hopes he has on his children to become successful people in the future, yet he will not heap the unnecessary pressure on us. The pressure that many parents might put on their children's shoulder to be successful.

"You must be a doctor, just like your cousin, bla bla bla..."

"I want you to become a lawyer, so you should work hard at school and stop playing around!"

No wonder a lot of children faltered to the unnecessary expectations of their parents. Some even resorted to taking their own lives, naudzubillah! May Allah protect my family from such situations!

As Jep rightly stated in his entry, Papa allowed us the right to grow up at our own pace. Yes, when it came to our academics, he'd rarely compromise on success, expecting us to do well in our examinations. But at the same time, I would always remember Papa as the one who prompted us into loving sports so much.

Being a good footballer himself, Papa would bring us to the football stadium back when Malaysian football was relatively more entertaining than how it is now.

He would take us into swimming classes, tennis lessons, golf driving course and badminton courts. When we developed the interest on tenpin bowling, and became quite serious with the sport, Papa adapted. He went to play bowling with us, gradually improving with every game, even occasionally defeating us even though we were better trained in the sport than him.

That is our Papa. He, in short, is a man of few words. He rarely shows his emotions in front of his kids. He is not the type of person who hugs or embraces you with tears running down the eyes, nope. I guess he leaves that to Mama. Mama deals with the emotion-bit. =)

I am certainly not the type of person who fully approves on special days for your mom, or dad, or your grandfather, etc. Not that I am being an ungrateful son, but I believe such days actually stemmed from the shrewd ideas of some money-making people. Those involved in making cards, cakes, etc. When it's Mothers Day, people will flock these shops to get a card for their mom. And when it's Fathers Day, they'll follow the same routine again. Imagine how much money do they make at the end of the day.

Having said that, I am still quite thankful that such a day exists. Because I, rather shamefully, often forgets to appreciate how indebted I am to my parents. For their unconditional love. For the sacrifices they would take for their children's sake. For the prayers they make day and night for our success in this world and the Hereafter. And at least this day has reminded me again about my Papa.

I was watching a program on TV1 a few hours ago, and was left with teary eyes when they showed a clip containing the faces of fathers all over Malaysia, with the song "Lelaki Ini" by Anuar Zain on the background. I guess the song really goes well with the clip, and would touch the heart of anyone who listens to it.

Try watching pictures of you and your dad, and play this song as the background. I'd be surprised if you don't even feel like shedding a tear.

"Hanya dirimu, yang bertaktha dalam sanubariku..."

Thank you Mr Masarudin bin Yusof. Thank you Papa.


uchnanabanana said...

Masyaallah, this is a really nice post.

Act wer in the same boat. I did medicine cause of my dad too. Like ur dad he wants one of us to follow his footsteps but i wld jokingly say to anyone who asks 'oh my dad forced me to take up the course!'. but in all honesty, im ejoying the ride and i hope i will still be able to in many years to come insyaAllah. its a nice feeling to be able to sort of mencapaikan their impian, but it comes with loads of expectations. the latter of which i wish not to comment cause its still is very painful to me lols.

Anonymous said...

Salam Afzal,
Enjoyed the post and most of all enjoyed the photos!! But, to top it all, ada video Anuar Zain!!!! Best!

Najiahtul Syafiqah Ismail said...

Happy Father's Day To Your Father!! I really happy when I saw everyone celebrating these day with their dad as I just celebrate the day with the sweet thought of my father...

Mas Afzal Masarudin said...

@Husna - Well, that is certainly one big step you have to follow (knowing the pedigree of ur dad) but I'm sure you'll eventually get there insha Allah! =)

@MakTeh - Oh sudah tentu Makteh, my thoughts are with u when I embedded this song ;)

@Najiahtul - Moga Allah ampuni dosa ibubapa kami dan mengganjari mereka dengan Jannah!

Al-Manar said...


Give all the respect and care to your parents today while they are around. It is painful to riminisce what one has not done for his parents when it is all too late.

STargAzeR said...

just beautiful!!

Khairunnisa' said...

I really love this entry :)

Ahh, memories. They're the precious gifts we're given to capture the past in our mind and keep it close to us.

sarah said...

nice post! =)
It reminds me why i choose this step of life. Huhu, i am bit late to realize what actually i wanted to be. Yes, even late than yours.hehehe, after SPM I'm still clueless. But then, after finished matriculation He guide my steps. Alhamdulillah, I love this step even it is a long journey.

May He always guide our steps and do always remember our parents for their support and sacrifice.(^_^)

saye kerink said...

Salam Bro. Wahh thanks for writing this entry. And thanks for the suggestion. Like it a lot. thank you again. ;]