Do you sometimes ask yourself; I've been praying that Allah gives me excellent results in my examination, but why did I still fail all my subjects?
Or that you and your partner have been asking from Allah day and night to be blessed with your own child, but yet years gone by and you are still waiting for it to happen?
Or that you have never failed to make invocations after each of your obligatory prayer, that Allah grants you cure from your disease, but yet the pain and suffering you endure remains???
That you've been praying so much, but all the effort seems fruitless? And deep in your heart, you ask yourself, frustratingly;
"O Allah, my Creator, what have I done that you are not granting my invocations?"
Thee alone we worship, and to Thee alone we pray for help...
When I was in the hospital back in November 2009 for my high dose chemotherapy and stem cell transplant, these thoughts kept creeping inside my head. They were worse when I was all by myself in the room, in pain and feeling tired. I remembered vividly,
When I had to resort to performing my prayers on my bed as I was too weak to get up, shaytan whispered,
"What is the point of troubling yourself to pray to Allah, you are in such a state but yet Allah is not listening to your prayers!"
When I got up early in the morning to pray my Tahajjud, there shaytan came and whispered,
"Look at you Afzal, tired and weak. You've not improved one single bit from your illness. Is it really worth waking up this early to pray to Allah?"
When I stood by the side of my room's window, looking down at the city of Sheffield from the hospital, shaytan came and whispered,
"Afzal, it's been a year now and here you are still stucked in the hospital. Allah has forgotten you and your prayers."
Ya Allah, I seek refuge from You from the evils of shaytan!
It is during these difficult moments, that I seek strength from our beloved Prophet's saying in regards to making invocations:
مَا مِنْ مُسْلِمٍ يَدْعُو اللهَ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ بِدَعْوَةٍ لَيْسَ فِيها إِثْمٌ ولَا قَطِيعَةُ رَحِمٍ
No Muslim supplicates to Allah with a Du`a that does not involve sin or cutting the relations of the womb,
إلَّا أَعْطَاهُ اللهُ بِهَا إِحْدَى ثَلَاثِ خِصَالٍ
but Allah will grant him one of the three things.
إِمَّا أَنْ يُعَجِّل لَهُ دَعْوَتَهُ
1. He will either hasten the response to his supplication,
وَإِمَّا أَنْ يَدَّخِرَهَا لَهُ فِي الأُخْرَى
2. save it for him until the Hereafter,
وَإِمَّا أَنْ يَصْرِفَ عَنْهُ مِنَ السُّوءِ مِثْلَهَا
3. or would turn an equivalent amount of evil away from him.
O Allah, how Merciful are You! I promise myself to always supplicate to You, for only You can grant cure to my ailments and none other.
Ad-du'a silaahul mukmin. [Du'a is the weapon of the Believers]
I'd like to remind myself, and to those reading my humble writings, that should such evil thoughts sprung to mind when we supplicate to Allah, remember Prophet Muhammad's warning:
"...the supplication of the servant will be accepted as long as he does not become hasty." The Prophet was then asked,
"How does one become hasty?" The Prophet then said,
"He says, `I supplicated and supplicated, but I do not see that my supplication is being accepted from me.' He thus looses interest and abandons supplicating (to Allah)."
Never abandon asking from Allah. If it is not Him, then NO ONE else can help us in this world, and in the Hereafter.